How to build up good relationships with others | Team work | Work- life balance
Don’t call people out for what they are doing wrong, help them learn how to do it better! We are all broken and have a lot to learn, be kind, understand them, try to inspire them to wish to be better, to work together for great results! Shouting at them will never get them by your side or any common side. People will never forget the way you made them feel, these emotions are like a little spot of black color on the veil they see in front of you every time you interact. Sure, you can always bring out new emotions, new colors, but the black ones will always stay more and have a higher intensity because they stain deeper. Just try to reach them in their own language. When someone is scared and doesn’t have resources to solve a situation they yell at others to receive it from them, but the others are in an induced alert state, just like when an animal threatens to bite them, all their energy is focused on surviving, all the energy goes to the muscles- to run or to attack back- and it’s hard to even think about something else. By instinct, you wish to stay away from the other person- in a physical and psychological way- it is very hard to build a common ground, in this way people will never want to build something with you, offering those extra special qualities they have.
BE CONSTANT & HELP THEM GROW!
So many times I see people not being constant and their way of acting is fluctuating a lot in the sense that you can’t predict the reaction they have to your action, so the overall result is a noise you don’t trust. Being constant in your reaction is building more and more trust. Even if you are honest and say things they don’t like, which is extremely important, you have to be constant and respect their emotions. If you don’t respect their emotions, that person is highly improbable to work with you and build a fruitful relationship in the future.
Give them something, teach them something and the world will become a better place for both of you. If you smile at them, they will smile back at you! In time, they will! Like a relaxing energy that comes along with you, every time they see you, they instantly remember the emotions you offered them. Be like a warm relaxing bath and each time they will open up more and more. When they are close and vulnerable, by no means use this vulnerability to crush them, just protect them. We are all sometimes tired with life throwing at us many problems and there are so many complex situations and a lot of facets of life roles we play for so many people. I think we should take it easy with others and stimulate the best in them because seeing the bad will only help us receive bad. This has nothing to do with standards- these ones are only for one’s self. Our perception of others shapes a reaction in us that will stimulate some type of actions in others, therefore self-fulfilling what we thought. Have you ever wondered why if we ask 10 people to describe us someone, it may seam the descriptions are for different people? I’m smiling now… I know 5 or 6 will have a common ground, but… you got the point!
I truly believe each one of us has unique qualities that need to be nurtured! You have to bring out what you ask from them, just don’t focus on what you want from them (I am not talking about specific tasks), tell them what you want to achieve together, tell them what are the obstacles and ask them how do they think they could help out and let them come with solutions, give them good feedback- for the way they try to solve the problems. Nurture the good qualities and bring opportunities for them to work on their lower points. This person will always appreciate the fact that you offer them the opportunity to grow.
When someone sees in you something good and brings out to life what you didn’t know you had, the result is a lasting relationship, it’s nurturing, trustful and you will want to give it back- it’s a natural response!
ME VS. TEAM
I had a dilemma the other days- what’s the best to do? If you have people that are good at different tasks, just let them be the best at those and go on with the team work or… just try and inspire the best ones at something to teach the others how to become better at it? I think the second one is the best one, even if it requires more work and involvement. On a long term, the base level of the team will increase in skills strength, connection and trust, in more fulfilling relationships with less stress, great results, efficiency and it sparkles up the work, it brings creativity, people are inspired to take the work to the next level and enjoy what they do! Like in a family, when you know the others have your back, you dare to fulfill your potential because you are in a secure place with loyalty and friendship.
I have also watched a video by Jay Shetty and even if he has a great point of view, I could see myself as a project, also the team that I am in. With any great project, it’s amazing to know its strengths, develop them, but you also have to see where the vulnerabilities are and try to prevent them from sabotaging the good stuff- you do it by working on them! Diversity in mindsets, skills, cultural backgrounds, activities and qualities is the key to stable team growth- the more you “know” your team, the more you know your role and you are part of it!
So many times we talk about patients and doctors- what the patients need, what the doctors need- I know there is a status and it’s the role we interact from, but at the end of the day we are just people, the patient could also be a doctor, with one doctor treating the other. I think we should step out of these roles and just understand and educate our patients that we are people who studied the human body and build up skills to fix it. We have to learn to see them as people with all the rainbow of life that is behind them. They aren’t defined by their disease and the ripple of the effect we have by treating them is so big, not just for them, but for their loved ones, too, including us. It is all connected. I could treat your mother, but you could save my child from drowning when I am on a beach during my vacation, outside the hospital. We aren’t just rigid people with scientific minds, we have to reach out to our creativity, spontaneity and humanity to stay present and find a balance between our work and our life.
Who lied to you and told you these two are separate? We can’t talk about work-life balance, the reality is that work is part of our life. If you stay 7-10 hours with the people you work with (probably more than you stay with your family), they may end up to be your loved ones- you may marry one of them, they are your friends, you joke with them, you work with them, you construct something together. These are the people you are building a better world with.
Things are not just black and white, there are layers of grey watery substances. Intricate is a key word, not balance- work has to be danced through!
FIND THE ONES YOU COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH!
I don’t think we fall in love with something because we are naturally drawn to it. This is a big part- let’s say the material that you will sculpt, but there are tools that are given by the people we fall in love with- the ones that are in love with what they do. It’s contagious, you want to be around them, to learn from them, to receive and give back the same vibe and after you get better at what you do, you start loving it! Love is action- a repeated act of small interactions that build up with a huge amount of work. One day, you will realize you enjoy your life, you love what you do and it is because of the people you fell in love with and inspired you, somewhere, sometime, along the way…
Our mentors shift, as we are ships that find each other in the middle of the sea, sharing a path together, but they are always a part of our decisions and after all, a part of the sailor we are becoming!