Mamihlapinatapai

     Men had so many different emotions in their eyes when they looked at me… But the truth is I would like to see his eyes… just one more time! And I can’t even describe how it felt… I was making a fruit salad in my old yellow dress and I was so mad at him for the…

– Tay!
– Yes?
– I’m leaving!

     I knew that… and hearing it made it feel like one of his childish ways of fooling around. But nobody was laughing. I avoided his eyes as a protest for the fact that he was here… for the last time.

     – I know.

     I stopped cutting the pineapple. We both hate goodbyes, just that I need them done. Why?

silence
silence again

     And it became so loud that I had to turn around.
    He looked at me as if I were a child he had to say goodbye to, the way a boy looks at his sister when she is getting married, but also like a friend you would like to keep forever, like someone you desire so much, like water in the desert, with the fear of having me and the fear of who he would be after loving me or… losing me.
    Those eyes! There were so many emotions, like puzzles, displaying a cloud atlas and I didn’t understand… Was it my own reflection?

     – At least…

     Heartbeats. I felt pressure on my chest and bursting into tears. But there were no tears… it was just a kiss on the neck, the luggage downstairs, last hugs, door closed.

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